Friday, 20 December 2013

Happy Christmas!

Another cartoon that was rejected by Private Eye sometime in the mid-90s. When the new Doctor Who  regenerated with Christopher Ecclestone in the lead role, Private Eye ran a cartoon with exactly the same idea by cartoonist Geoff Thompson. Booo!

Wednesday, 4 December 2013


Garbage Pail Kid Shrunken ED                                   Stare-master Ted "The Head" Stead

Sunday, 17 November 2013


I bought this great hardback book 'Russia From The Inside' by Robert Kaiser and Hannah Jopling Kaiser (really the author's names, no joke) from Northampton Central Library sometime in the mid 90s for 50p. It has some great photos from all walks of life in Communist Russia including this spread of the then leaders of that then vast geopolitical superpower including Mikhail Gorbachev plus a little addition by me (I have always found 'The Hood' funny). What a great party and process that must have been. Some of these characters were (sort-of) the inspiration for the stare-master player cards in The World Stare-out Championship Final

Serious business keeping the populace under commie control.

Sunday, 10 November 2013

Sophie Crumb got there first

A ten-year-old Sophie Crumb successfully showed how the stare-out should have been conceived within the pages of her excellent and highly enjoyable book Evolution of a Crazy Artist.

That's cheating! Chang Gin Ming would never allow that move!

Evolution of a Crazy Artist. Well worth a look.

Sophie's blog is highly entertaining as well.

Sunday, 20 October 2013

Sorry, no thanks

Tyrannosaurus wrecked

This was the first cartoon I sent Private Eye back in 1993. They had a long series of running jokes about the film Jurassic Park and this was my effort to break in on the act. I was disappointed that it was turned down as I felt it was good enough for publication but evidently Mr Hislop thought otherwise. I coloured the cartoon and put it on the back of my House of Hatch comic which is still available for purchase and well worthy of a wafer of your wad.

"Do I not like that!"

This was the second rejected cartoon. The context was that Graham Gooch had been given out in a test match after controversially handling the ball, preventing it from hitting his stumps. At the same time our national football team was suffering from letting in too many goals under the stewardship of Graham Taylor and so I pictorially combined both sporting matters. Hilarious! Actually, not really.

Wash and goo away

I also sent in another running joke cartoon that Private Eye had been riffing on, sometime in the mid 90s, this time it was on the theme of the 'Wash and Go' shampoo TV advert. Again, I thought this was an okay joke but back it came to me 'With the Editor's Compliments.' I guess I'm not, and never will be, in Ken Pyne's league.

Maybe I should send Private Eye another cartoon sometime soon just to see if their rejection slip has been updated. Fax?

Here's a real rejection of note

Saturday, 12 October 2013

The World Freak-out Champion!

Way back in December 2007 my technologically clued up friends had just bought a new camera/gizmo/gadget/thingy and were fooling around with it when I just happened to turn up. They thrust the electronic device into my hands and secretly pressed 'record'.

Monday, 30 September 2013

Unda's Spassky and Kampagnola biscuits!

Unda Vebicka was a Latvian lodger that stayed at The House of Hatch from March 2011 to until February 2012. She came to the UK to work here and improve her English. Her background was in architecture and she was a very talented and creative person. I showed her copies of my Oddsock comics and gave her a copy of original Stare-out bag of fun and she kindly baked a couple of biscuits of the two finalists which I foolishly kept to one side thinking they were too good to consume. Unfortunately, when I took the photo below of her baking mastery the biscuits were on the turn which was a real shame as they looked far better fresh from the oven.

Bite size portions of Kampagnola v Spassky

Unda also did an excellent portrait of me. I did a couple of pictures of her. We went out drawing a few times together and she showed me how it's done on each occasion.

Portrait of Paul in pencil by Unda Verbicka 2011

Unda is now back in Latvia working as an architect but she still does lots of excellent drawings and you can see them here click on 'Illustrations' on the right hand side of her website for the full show of freaks and geeks. Whilst staying at my place she made a wonderful lampshade for her room out of grey packing paper and it still on view today.

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Hi Honey I'm Home!

I found this pile of cartoons in a dusty old file a few weeks ago and thought they were a tiny bit on the amusing side. They were conceived in October 1993 in the northern city of Leeds, when I hitched up from Wellingborough to visit my dear old chums Dan Bartlett and Sarah Keeble before they became Mr & Mrs Bartlett a couple of years later. The cartoons were our attempt to break into uncharted territory within the medium of spot cartooning and expand the boundaries of what is comedically possible in direct response to the already high standards illustrated by the regular cartoonists in the bi-weekly satirical periodical 'Private Eye', who were clearly having a ball at the time banging out numerous variations on the "Hi honey I'm home!" theme. Alcohol no doubt had a large part to play in this display of unwanted and unneeded creativity.

Obvious really. By Paul
I said 'Obvious really.' By Dan
Miniature mirth in La casa del 'Little and Large'. By Paul
Fingers, er, crossed with modern TV unit. By Sarah
Hitler + Bugs Bunny = Hilarity! By Paul
A topsy turvy tickler from Dan
Ha Ha! A clown! By Paul
He's hard and aroused. She doesn't seem impressed by either fact. By Paul
Grandma clearly enjoys sampling the good stuff. By Sarah
Harold's had enough of Plato 'not strictly adhering to early Pythagorean interpretation.' By Dan
Who would draw someone humongous smaller than someone who is not? Dan Bartlett of course!
Never trust a hippie nor Dan Bartlett.
I would be hopping home too if my honey was sitting naked with a miniature seal on her head. By Sarah
Click your heels applauding the emptiness of your life. By Paul
Amusing animal antics abide! Why knit a scarf for a donkey? But then again, why not? By Paul
Hitler had a son? By Paul
You haven't mended the shed! By Sarah
What on Earth is she supposed to be?  A brush?! I have no idea. By Paul
...and what is that shiny thing on the Rhino's chest? Why does the creature coming in have sunglasses on? Ask Dan.
Same joke as above. Different visual interpretation. By Paul
The reversal! By Paul
Just look at the size of that guy's plonker! By Sarah
'He gave me water!' By Paul
Biting political satire from 1993 with former Prime Minister John Major and his wife Norma. By Paul
I have no idea what is wrong with me. By Paul
Fresh from composing another intergalactic battle-chant, in comes Dave Brock with his audio generator. By Paul
...and extraterrestrial excitement ensues. By Paul
Ask Dan who will have no idea either

I wonder what their wedding night was like? By Paul
Homework imposes itself on Edvard Munch's 'The Scream'. By Sarah
Frank Bruno had just gotten beaten up by Lennox Lewis. Topical. Look it up. By Paul
Ooh er indeed! Ham-fisted honey-coated comedy by Dan
The door's ajar! By Paul
Enter a triple-breasted-fish/snake-thing. By Sarah
 'LICK PRICED' ?! What the hell does that mean!? By Paul
It's all about me. By me
'He Boney I'm M' goldfish and printer error. Ladies and Gentlemen, the one and only Dan Bartlett!
More scathing social commentary from the pen of Paul Hatcher
I said I have no idea what is wrong with me. By Paul
Another cartoonist did exactly the same joke and they published it! By Paul
And The Gold Medal... GOES TO SARAH!!